There have been moments in the last 3 weeks in which I wanted to let the dream die. It's so easy to be selfish and want the comforts of home, to be with your family and friends, and to live the American dream. I'll be honest - sometimes it's tough to embrace life here as permanent. I look around and see the huge towers of darkness, I hear the demonic call to prayer, I see the blindness in the people's eyes, and I miss home.  And I've only been here for 3 weeks this time. Not the most encouraging thing to read, huh? 

However, God always brings me back to the truth. Jesus never promised us comfort, ease or a convenient life. He never promised that throwing your life away for His sake and the Gospel's sake would be easy. He never promised that we wouldn't be persecuted, that we wouldn't get discouraged, or that we wouldn't feel like giving up. He never promised that we wouldn't miss the ones we love, or that we wouldn't long for the future. What He did promise is this:

  "I will be with you"

My moments of doubt are blown away by the raw power of Jesus' words. The God of the universe, Who created all things for His own glory, will be with me. Yes, the god of the world is at work here, but King Jesus is coming back. Yes, it's discouraging sometimes, but I have the ultimate source of satisfaction and joy. 

Unchanging, unmovable, all powerful, full of truth and righteousness, above all powers and principalities, King Jesus bows to no one. And yet, this same Jesus gave Himself as the ultimate sacrifice for mankind. This sacrifice cannot be ignored, and we have our own crosses to carry. So, despite the screams of my flesh to forsake my God given purpose, and despite the spiritual warfare that rages and takes it's daily toll, my call has only been further confirmed. God is calling me to take His gospel to a people who have never heard - and I'm thankful for the opportunity to face the reality of the field now, before I jump in full time.

  God is sovereign and these 3 weeks have been exactly what I needed. Not a glorious, triumphant campaign, but rather a reality check. It's not going to be easy, but the Lamb that was slain must receive the reward for his suffering. 

"No reserves. No retreats. No regrets."

 - William Borden

Today our travels took us to a city about 45 minutes east of here, and a beautiful one at that. Set in a river valley that winds through the beginnings of a major mountain range, it's a picturesque scene. The buildings creep up the sides of the mountains and finally disappear as the clouds begin to engulf the mountain peaks. Great looking place. We spent some time here talking with a fellow worker, and it was very interesting. The guy had some ideas/philosophies about work in muslim areas that I was very uncomfortable with, yet it was a good chance to hear a new perspective and I did learn some things from him. Basically, if you know anything about the muslim insider movement, that knowledge would describe him. I won't go into detail about the things he presented, but all I can say is that theology is important. Sound doctrine is essential to taking the gospel to a place like this; the conversation definitely confirmed my desires to get more education and study the word on a deeper level. If I'm going to make disciples here someday, I had better have something to give them.

We drove part of the way up a mountain, and while the rest set off to completely ascend it, I was on car duty. Though I was a little frustrated that my back kept me from heading up...God provided a powerful moment while I waited. From our high vantage point we could see most of the city, and the call to prayer began to resonate from the mosques throughout the landscape. If you've ever heard the call to prayer live, you know that it's an unnerving sound. But to hear it blasting all over the area, from hundreds of mosques, was incredible. It saddened, angered, inspired and challenged me all at the same time, and made me jealous for God's glory.

I couldn't help but think of Jesus' words in Luke 19, "If these were silent, the very stones would cry out." God will be glorified. Yet, even with all the noise of false attempts to praise God ringing throughout the valley, the little stone at my feet was doing more to glorify God than the Imams were. The beautiful creation in my view screamed the glory of God, and yet the collectively haunting sounds of the call to prayer confirmed many in their hopeless attempts to please God without knowing Jesus. I don't want this situation to remain. I don't want the rocks to be the only thing in that valley that glorifies God. If that means I make my home in that city someday, then I guess I'll forever remember today's moment. 

Our city is definitely one of diverse culture. The skyline is dotted with mosques, and yet I just returned from coffee with kids that belong on the beach in Cali. They cruise around in an old Volkswagen van, surf the days away, and smoke herb like it's candy. What a paradox, right? So it goes in this place. My compadre has been able to share Christ with them in the past, and we're scheduled to rendezvous tomorrow. Pray that we will be able to effectively communicate what the scriptures call "of first importance" and display it with our lives. 

Lately I've been experiencing problems with my back, and I will more than likely be forced to return home at the halfway point of the summer. Most of you know that I had surgery over spring break, and now there are complications that have worsened since my arrival here. As you can imagine, this is extremely frustrating for me. We planned and planned, raised all of our support, finally arrived and now it will all have to be cut short. (at least for me) 

I'll be honest. It feels as though I'm letting all those who have supported me down. The plan was not for me to be here for a month; it was to be here for the entire summer. However, for whatever reason God has seen fit to cause this situation to occur. He is sovereign. I really can't question the twists and turns of my life, because I know that God has a higher purpose in every situation. 

Hopefully you guys all understand my heart; I absolutely do not want to leave. I came here with a plan, and leaving early was not a part of it. My understanding was that my back would improve with time, but it has deteriorated. As I said before, God is sovereign over all things. 

My plan now is to make the most of the time that I have left. I've been able to share the gospel with several people, but you can pray that I will have many more opportunities. That reminds me, pray for a guy that works here in our office, Mbark. (Mu-bar-ak) Believe it or not - he's a postmodern agnostic. I was able to share my testimony with him the other day and many others have done the same. Basically, his god is his mind. Pray that God shatters his confidence in his own wisdom and allows him to know Jesus. 

That's all for tonight. Cease not your prayers. B-salama...goodbye. 

Serious stomach problem occurring today. Yes, that problem. I don't know what they call it down here, but I definitely have it.  I think you know how to pray for me today...

To switch gears...here is a verse that God encouraged me with the other day. Building the church here seems impossible, but Christ is able to do this and He promises that He will. 

Ephesians 3:20-21: Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Our favorite word around here is, "cultural exchange." Lately we've been visiting local universities to talk with students, and hopefully build redemptive relationships with them. Yesterday, over lunch I was able to share the whole gospel with a muslim about my age. I'm meeting up with him sometime this weekend to further explain. 

Today I was talking to another college student and he said one of the saddest things i've ever heard. I asked him was the most important person in his life is, and he thought for a minute and said, "I wish I could say God, but He's not a person."  People need Jesus around here. 

Monopoly. If your friend somehow manages to snatch up two consecutive sets of property, then you're in trouble. It's unavoidable. Similarly, if you're sitting in a Spanish airport and you happen to be starving, then you're in trouble. it's unavoidable. So, I did what any hungry male would do. I dropped 16 bucks on 2 small pieces of pizza and a coke. (plus some cake) To make things worse, I was so hungry that I didn't exactly pay attention to what covered this heavily invested-in pizza of mine. Turns out they like to eat "fish pizza" in Spain. Old fish. I almost threw up, but It was definitely an interesting experience. 

We rolled into the airport late this morning, and It's been great to reunite with some old friends. Earlier this evening one of my friends, a young national Christian, gave his testimony for our group and some others who are visiting. I'll never get over the stories of God saving those who were once a slave to Islam. This young saint was once a drug addict, born into Islam and living in a remote village with no gospel witness. He received some gospel literature in the mail, and ignored it. After receiving similar mailings for several years, he finally came into contact with a national Christian who then gave him a bible. For 6 months, he compared the books and wrestled to find the truth. Finally, he cried out to God to reveal which book was truly inspired, and the Holy Spirit illuminated this to him. Consequently, he understood the gospel, repented and believed. 

Several years later, the guy absolutely puts me to shame. Let no one say that they love Jesus unless they're prepared to live as this one does; the cross of Christ is literally everything to him. His friends and family sneer at his faith; no Christian girls around means slim chances of marriage; he's constantly mocked for believing that Jesus is God; he quit his job in order to train full time for the ministry and to make disciples throughout the nation, and yet he suffers all things with more joy than most Christians that I know. Pray for him! (We'll call him Mehdi - a common local name) It's not an easy thing to serve Christ in a country like this, but Mehdi can truly say he lives like Paul did in 2:10 - "Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory."

Today has finally come, and we fly out in a few hours. With all the layovers, it will take us about 16 hours to arrive. My plan is to take some Tylenol PM and hopefully crash for as much of the flights as possible, and then to force myself to stay awake until 21:00 local time. Hopefully that alleviates the jet lag; last year I was a zombie for a few days. Anyway, you can pray for our flight. I'm not worried about getting there safely. The problem lies in arriving reasonably close to when you planned on arriving, and doing it with all of your luggage. Thanks in advance for your prayers...I'll catch you on the other side of the world.