There have been moments in the last 3 weeks in which I wanted to let the dream die. It's so easy to be selfish and want the comforts of home, to be with your family and friends, and to live the American dream. I'll be honest - sometimes it's tough to embrace life here as permanent. I look around and see the huge towers of darkness, I hear the demonic call to prayer, I see the blindness in the people's eyes, and I miss home.  And I've only been here for 3 weeks this time. Not the most encouraging thing to read, huh? 

However, God always brings me back to the truth. Jesus never promised us comfort, ease or a convenient life. He never promised that throwing your life away for His sake and the Gospel's sake would be easy. He never promised that we wouldn't be persecuted, that we wouldn't get discouraged, or that we wouldn't feel like giving up. He never promised that we wouldn't miss the ones we love, or that we wouldn't long for the future. What He did promise is this:

  "I will be with you"

My moments of doubt are blown away by the raw power of Jesus' words. The God of the universe, Who created all things for His own glory, will be with me. Yes, the god of the world is at work here, but King Jesus is coming back. Yes, it's discouraging sometimes, but I have the ultimate source of satisfaction and joy. 

Unchanging, unmovable, all powerful, full of truth and righteousness, above all powers and principalities, King Jesus bows to no one. And yet, this same Jesus gave Himself as the ultimate sacrifice for mankind. This sacrifice cannot be ignored, and we have our own crosses to carry. So, despite the screams of my flesh to forsake my God given purpose, and despite the spiritual warfare that rages and takes it's daily toll, my call has only been further confirmed. God is calling me to take His gospel to a people who have never heard - and I'm thankful for the opportunity to face the reality of the field now, before I jump in full time.

  God is sovereign and these 3 weeks have been exactly what I needed. Not a glorious, triumphant campaign, but rather a reality check. It's not going to be easy, but the Lamb that was slain must receive the reward for his suffering. 

"No reserves. No retreats. No regrets."

 - William Borden